20 Years Post Graduation

20 years has come and gone since I graduated high school.  This past weekend was my reunion.  I wasn’t able to attend due to geography and family commitments here in Alberta, but I was there in spirit. It certainly does not feel like it has been 20 years since I was in high school.  I don’t really feel all that much older.  There are still many days I look around my house and wonder how it came to be that Steve and I are in charge.

This year my youngest cousin on my mom’s side (I am the oldest cousin)  graduated from high school.  I also had a niece graduate.  Both are off to college and being adults away from their homes and families.  I look at them and can’t imagine where they will be 20 years.  I know that 20 years ago I had a plan for myself and it looked nothing like what my life currently is.  Reality has been so much better than my dreams were.  Who I was at 17 seems like another person almost.  Some of me is the same, but so much of me is different.

I really hope that I don’t have to wait 10 more years for another reunion.  I really hope there is an alumni who takes up the charge and plans a 25th reunion!  I think no matter what is happening around me, I will definitely not miss out on that one!

Gym Rat

Being happy in your own skin is a really nice idea.  It’s a concept that people talk about and strive for but I don’t really know if most people actually get there.   As I was driving to the gym on my lunch break yesterday it hit me that I won’t ever be ‘thin’.  I won’t ever have tiny hips and a tiny waist and tiny legs.  I never have.  Why should I expect that body now.  No matter how much I cut calories or work out I will never be a shape that I see in the media presented to me every day.  And I am more than okay with that.  Of course, my weight plays a role but it’s not the main character of my story.

So a month ago I made a commitment to being more physical every day.  I joined a gym.  I have a trainer.  I have committed to being there every day of the work week that I can.  No excuses.  And 30 days later I  feel like a bit of an addict.  I look forward to my time there.  I find the gym a comfort. I sweat.  I stink.  I work hard and I feel wonderful.  I come home every day and talk about the gym and my workouts with Steve.  I show the girls new yoga moves each night.  I live and breath the gym.  I have never enjoyed exercise as much in my entire life.  Well, except for when I was younger and spent every evening at the dance studio.

My muscles are stronger.  My legs feel so strong.  I flex and see the difference.  All those years in the dance studio gave me a foundation of muscle that is still there.  I am full of energy and excitement.  I am happier than I have been and I am a pretty happy person to start with.  This first month (in my 25 month time line) has been an awakening for me.  I am motivated and inspired to work harder each day.  I cannot wait to see what else I will be able to do with my body.  And you know what – I lost weight without even trying and it shocked me because it wasn’t even something I was thinking about.  It just happened.  And this what has struck me the most this month – it’s the little things you aren’t focused on that surprise you in life.  Loosing weight still isn’t my goal.  I don’t know if it ever will be.  And maybe that’s why I am so frickin happy with myself.  I have put no pressure on my physical appearance.  It’s not a priority.  What my jean size is, what my waist measures, what the scale reads, what size I wear aren’t goals I am striving for.  Being at the gym every work day.  Working my muscles to exhaustion and then working them some more.  Being committed.  These were my goals and I achieved every single one of them.  This month I am challenging myself with upping my endurance and increasing my flexibility.  I am so excited to see what the start of August feels like in my body, I can hardly wait.

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