Being happy in your own skin is a really nice idea. It’s a concept that people talk about and strive for but I don’t really know if most people actually get there. As I was driving to the gym on my lunch break yesterday it hit me that I won’t ever be ‘thin’. I won’t ever have tiny hips and a tiny waist and tiny legs. I never have. Why should I expect that body now. No matter how much I cut calories or work out I will never be a shape that I see in the media presented to me every day. And I am more than okay with that. Of course, my weight plays a role but it’s not the main character of my story.
So a month ago I made a commitment to being more physical every day. I joined a gym. I have a trainer. I have committed to being there every day of the work week that I can. No excuses. And 30 days later I feel like a bit of an addict. I look forward to my time there. I find the gym a comfort. I sweat. I stink. I work hard and I feel wonderful. I come home every day and talk about the gym and my workouts with Steve. I show the girls new yoga moves each night. I live and breath the gym. I have never enjoyed exercise as much in my entire life. Well, except for when I was younger and spent every evening at the dance studio.
My muscles are stronger. My legs feel so strong. I flex and see the difference. All those years in the dance studio gave me a foundation of muscle that is still there. I am full of energy and excitement. I am happier than I have been and I am a pretty happy person to start with. This first month (in my 25 month time line) has been an awakening for me. I am motivated and inspired to work harder each day. I cannot wait to see what else I will be able to do with my body. And you know what – I lost weight without even trying and it shocked me because it wasn’t even something I was thinking about. It just happened. And this what has struck me the most this month – it’s the little things you aren’t focused on that surprise you in life. Loosing weight still isn’t my goal. I don’t know if it ever will be. And maybe that’s why I am so frickin happy with myself. I have put no pressure on my physical appearance. It’s not a priority. What my jean size is, what my waist measures, what the scale reads, what size I wear aren’t goals I am striving for. Being at the gym every work day. Working my muscles to exhaustion and then working them some more. Being committed. These were my goals and I achieved every single one of them. This month I am challenging myself with upping my endurance and increasing my flexibility. I am so excited to see what the start of August feels like in my body, I can hardly wait.